Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
