genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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