I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
