After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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