also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
