I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
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