At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
