these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Can I color on your dick again?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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