so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Just puked most of my soul out..
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