OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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