Screwed.edu
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
