Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Randomize
