Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
