Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
