So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
