The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
