I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Randomize
