I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Randomize
