I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
