if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
