Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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