That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
