Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
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