I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
