I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
