You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize