its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
