The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
