walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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