why didn't you poke me back
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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