I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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