Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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