The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize