Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
