the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
