Duck Duck Cougar?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
