you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
