Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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