I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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