I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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