Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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