You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
