i would punch a child for taco bell
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
