half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
