I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize