Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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