Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
