i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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