Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
