I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
