OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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