I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
