So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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