Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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