Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
