i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
