she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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