we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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