I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
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