Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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