I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
