i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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