we should wear snuggies to the strip club
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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