I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
