PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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