Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
