I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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