the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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