if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
