did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
