So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
