thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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