and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
