my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
