jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
